Three months into my master’s program in the Netherlands, my life could be summed up in one word: chaos. Fast forward to today, eleven months in, and I can say the chaos is still here, but now it’s sprinkled with a healthy dose of “gezelligheid” and a surprising amount of mayonnaise on my fries. This is the story of how I went from drowning in self-doubt to actually, maybe, sort of, thriving.
My grand Dutch adventure began at Utrecht University. I was one of just 14 students in a research master’s program, and to say it was intense is an understatement. The classes were a high-speed train of complex topics, and for the first time in my academic life, I felt completely out of my league. In Japan, I’d been a confident student, but here, surrounded by brilliant minds, my old nemesis, imposter syndrome, decided to move in. It felt like I had to work three times harder than everyone else just to stand at the same starting line. But slowly, painstakingly, the fog began to clear. A chat with my landlady delivered a much-needed reality check: “Why must you be better than everyone else?” Her question hit me hard. I realized I was so caught up in comparing myself to others that I’d forgotten to measure my own growth.
That conversation was my turning point. I started to let go of the crippling need for perfection, and a funny thing happened—I started to enjoy myself. I began speaking up in class a lot, applying for research internships without fear, and even organized pizza and Japanese food parties for my classmates. It turns out, overcoming my inner critic was the key to unlocking my entire university experience.
Of course, my Dutch education hasn’t been confined to the classroom. I’ve had a crash course in Dutch life, and it’s been… memorable. For starters, this is a true bicycle nation. Everyone rides, from toddlers to the king. Being 163 cm tall in the land of giants meant my only option was a child’s bike—a fact my Dutch friends find hilarious. My daily 10km commute, often through wind and rain that feels like a mini-typhoon, is a serious workout and a daily reminder of my foreignness.
Then there’s the food. I was shocked to discover that the Dutch eat their fries with mayonnaise. But this isn’t just any mayo; it’s a sweet, delicious concoction called Fritessaus, and I am now a firm believer. My culinary world has expanded to include stroopwafels (pro tip by my Dutch friends: warm them over a hot cup of tea) and hagelslag—chocolate sprinkles on bread for breakfast. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!
Culturally, the Dutch directness is no stereotype. People say what they mean, which was a shock at first but has become incredibly refreshing. You never have to guess what someone is thinking, like I had been doing for a long time. This straightforwardness, combined with their love for long holidays and a healthy work-life balance, has taught me a lot about living a more balanced life.
These eleven months have been a whirlwind of growth, from academic struggles to personal breakthroughs. I’ve learned that it’s okay to be imperfect, that asking for help is a strength, and that a little bit of chaos can be a catalyst for incredible change. My life here has become deeply fulfilling, and I’m excited for what’s next—including a summer research internship in Belgium. The adventure is far from over!
Written by Tomi, RCUI Rotary Scholar